F is for Funny

     So, if you don't know by now, I have two Scottish Terriers.  They will be two years old in May.  So they are still very young.  They did not come from the same litter, but they've been together since they were 8 weeks old.  So, they are sisters.

     Our youngest one, Livvy (she's younger by 8 days), has a tendency to act like the bratty little sister.  And, she is very attached to me.  Probably because when we brought her home from Wisconsin (a 9 hour drive home) I held her almost the whole time up against my chest.  She would not ride in my lap and would only last a short time laying next to Izzy.  She wanted to be held.

     Most of the time, the fact that she's so attached to me is not really a problem.  Until someone else wants my attention.

     I was laying on the loveseat the other day, curled up under the afghan.  Both dogs were on the floor next to me.  I noticed Livvy staring Izzy down.  Then, all of a sudden Izzy tried to jump up next to me, but Livvy jumped faster and took the spot Izzy was trying to jump into.  Then, she turned and looked down at Izzy again and stared at her until she laid down on the floor.

Blogging A to Z

Now That's a Big One

     This weekend is our annual Tartan Days Festival down on our riverfront.  There are booths selling Scottish/Irish wares, food booths, drink, music, and Scottish sporting events.

We always walk in the parade with St. Louis Scottish Terrier Rescue.  Our kids carry the banner for them and both our Scotties walk with all the other Scotties behind the banner.

     This morning the weather was amazing for a parade.  There were tons of Scotties that showed up. There was also a huge group of Shelties that showed up and walked the parade, too.  It's always so much fun to see people with their dogs at this parade.

     After the parade we stand around and talk with the other Scottie people for a while and then head back to the parking lot at the south end of the park.  We usually stop and watch some of the big burly Scottish men participating in their sporting events.  These all include trying to throw something that is really heavy.  Today we got to see some of the log throwing and this is one of the pictures I got.

I think that's the biggest one I've ever seen!

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Come laugh with other bloggers who have funny stories.

A Creeper at a Board Meeting

   

     Picture me sitting in the middle of the Swim Team Parent Board meeting.  I am listening and trying to take notes on the progress of everything we have/had planned over the past few months and the next couple months.  We are moving through the agenda pretty quickly for which I am thankful.  I notice a couple of the other board members giving each other sideways glances and have a passing thought wondering about what they're communicating about.

     The member holding the meeting notices something a few moments later.  Then, one of the board members that starts to sink in her chair as she's looking out the tall skinny window of the door to the room we are occupying and declares that there is a "creepy guy sitting out there staring at me."

Of course we all turn around and look out the window.  

The minute I see him, I call out, "That's my brother!"

At which point I went out to tell him I'd forgotten to bring his Girl Scout cookies to the Y with me with peals of laughter behind me as I shut the door.  So, before I could tell him about the Girl Scout Cookies I had to admonish him not to creep out the other swim team board members anymore.

Come enjoy some more funny stuff!  Linkin' up with Weekend Funnies over at My Half Assed Life!

An Email from My Son's Teacher

     My son has this amazing imagination.  Ever since he started talking he's told stories.  One was about his dad rolling him down a giant hill in a trash can.  That one he told his sister and I on the way home from  preschool one day.  

      In Kindergarten his class made books of what they wanted for Christmas.  They had to cut out pictures for this project.  My son managed to find a mug of beer in the stack of newspaper ads they were using and cut it out.  His teacher asked him if he wanted beer for Christmas and he said no, it was for his dad because his dad likes to drink a lot of beer.  Ok, then.  Yes, both his parents drink beer, but not so much we'd ask for it for Christmas.  At least that one has some truth to it, unlike the story he told his first grade teacher.

     I was eating my lunch at my desk one day, checking my email when I saw there was an email from my son's first grade teacher.  So, here I am trying to enjoy a very bland lunch, munching on some nondescript sandwich as I open the email and begin to read.  I almost choked from laughter.

     It seems that the teacher had read a story in which the main character had an experience that scared him.  Like all good teachers she was hoping to get her students to make a personal connection to the story so she asked the class if anyone had every had a scary experience.  I'm sure she was expecting episodes of being afraid of monsters in closets and under beds or maybe even fender bender incidents. Ha!

      My son raises his hand and the poor woman called on him.  He proceeded to tell her this lengthy story about the time his family was sound asleep and robbers broke into the house.  They locked the dog in a closet and overtook his dad who had grabbed a baseball bat.  They made all of us go into the garage and tied up his mom and dad and duck taped out mouths.  They then stole our computer and TVs and left us there.  He and his sister could not untie his parents so they had to call 911 to get help with that.

     His teacher was so mortified and scared she felt the need to email me and ask if my son might benefit from sessions with the school counselor.  She wondered if there was anything else she could do for us or if the school community could help in some way.

     I really tried not to laugh and I'm so glad she did not tell me this in person because I am not sure I'd been able to control my laughter and the poor woman was so worried.  No, robbers never broke into our house at night or during the day.  Our dog was never locked in a closet.  Even if robbers had broken in my husband would not have had a baseball bat because it would have been downstairs and there would have been no way to get to it with robbers in the house.  

     I really hope that if robbers did break in and tie me up and duck tape my mouth they would do it some place more comfortable than the garage.  Every computer and television we've ever had has only left the house under our own wishes.  And, 911 has only been dialed from this house the time a teenage boy screeched through the stop sign across the street, slammed into the streetlight in front of our house and knocked it over into our yard.  Which happend  when my son was older than first grade.

     After I recovered and was able to stop choking on my sandwich I composed an email that I really hoped did not convey the hilarity I felt.  His teacher was very understanding and at some point that year we devised a plan to help her know when he was making up stories or telling factual events.  He had to put his finger on his nose when he was telling a story.

     He still tells stories, but so far that's the best one.  

I'm linking up with Weekend Funnies Over at My Half Assed Life.  Come join us!!!!!

Daft Headlines

 Journalists try to keep headlines short and to the point to catch a reader's eye.  Sometimes they can catch your attention in a completely unintended way, or at least I hope it's unintended.  Here are some headlines that have been found in newspapers around the world. 

Autos killing 110 a day - let's resolve to do better.
Because we are not achieving high score in the auto kamikaze tournament

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood.

Uh, is this Zombie Salespeople or is someone trying to sell corpses?

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board.

The Parent Advisory Board I am on frequently does this at our local fast food restaurant just to see how much chaos we can stir up because we have nothing better to do... .oh wait they probably mean a piece of wood???

Blind woman gets new kidney from daughter she hasn't seen in years.
I guess that means she didn't just lose her sight yesterday.

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply.

That's so wrong on so many levels. 

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy.
Ok, Gross!

Childs stool great for use in garden.
Gross, again!

Cold wave linked to temperatures.
That dang cold wave just can't seem to leave the temperatures alone!

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.

It's that whole being stuffed into a coffin by yourself thing.  

Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors.

Is sex with newspaper editors different than it is with other people?

Drunk gets nine months in violin case.

Wow, that's a pretty stiff sentence... or at least the drunk will feel very stiff after being cooped up in that small of a space for nine months, talk about reliving your time in the womb.

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
Obvious much?

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax.
Talk about Mad Cow Desease!

Eye drops off shelf.
Maybe you should find a safer place for your eyeball.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
Tall doctors or septiped freaks of nature?

Iraqi head seeks arms.
Dr. Frankenstein may be able to help with that.

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
If there is maybe you should change your brand of toilet paper.

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant.
Thinking this may fall under the category of cruel and unusual, or illegal sentences.

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees.
Is this a special kind of talent?

Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests.
I'd hate to see what they do to criminals.

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
Ok, so you decide not to become a viable member of society so we cut you in two.  Yeah, that sounds fair.

Lung cancer in women mushrooms.
When did mushrooms grow lungs let alone grow gender identifying appendages?

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge.
Or does he actually charge the battery?

Man is fatally slain.
Is there another kind of slaying?

Milk drinkers are turning to powder.
This confuses me... add liquid and turn to dust.... yeah, that makes sense.

Miners refuse to work after death.

Sounds like an issue the union needs to address.

NJ judge to rule on nude beach.
I guess the courtroom is too stuffy for him/her.

Never withhold herpes infection from loved one.
Because nothing says "I love you" like VD.

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies.
What the hell is it vaccinating against that rabies is preferable?

Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy.
It's such a nuisence when the public can read.

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni.
Interesting architechtual choice.

Organ festival ends in smashing climax.
There just aren't words for this one.

Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over.
eeeewwwwweeeeeeee

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.
We'll let the speeders run you over if you don't cross at the crosswalk.

Queen Mary having bottom scraped.
Wow, talk about TMI!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge.
And, this is why I am afraid of bridges.

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training.
Just who would do this training?  I can think of several good candidates for that job!

Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency.
Yeah, that dying thing really slows a worker down.

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction.
Ewe, ewe, ewe!  Now I need a shower!

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say.
Does that mean the jet is still in the air?
Well that was fun.  We might have to do this again sometime. 
I'd like to thank the source for this post:  http://manuel-life.tripod.com/id36.html

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