Experience the Normal

         I take a deep breath and just try to absorb the moment.  Nothing special is going on, I'm just making some lunch and my son is playing on the computer in the other room.  It’s just the two of us home right now as his sister is at Girl Scout Camp for two weeks and his dad is at work.  It’s just that lately I've become all too aware that days like this will be gone way before I'm ready for them to end.

            My daughter is 14 and my son is 11 ½ .  Each summer seems to mean I have less and less time with them as they are more inclined to be doing things with friends or pursuing their own interests.  We dropped my daughter off at Girl Scout Camp about an hour away from home two days ago.  She will be there for two weeks.  She’s gone to camp before, but this is the first time it’s been longer than a week.  I missed her before we even got to the camp.  She starts high school in August and of course at this point it’s about spending as much time with her friends and boyfriend as she can.

            Last night my son spent the night with a friend.  It meant that it was just my husband and me at home with the dogs.  I usually love having that alone time with my husband.  Last night it just felt like the house was empty.  This morning when he went to work, it felt even emptier.  I was so relieved when it was time to go pick my son up from his sleep over. 

            It’s just a normal week day during summer break.  I’m doing things around the house and trying to get some of my own things done.  He’s finished eating his lunch and is now downstairs playing on his Xbox.  I’ll be going to the grocery store soon.  But, the fact that we're in the same house for most of the day is really all that matters.   

        So, again I just close my eyes and only focus on the sound of his voice as he’s talking to his friends over his Xbox and the feel of the house when he’s home.  I try to focus all my senses on the simple experience of doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen and preparing to go to the store while he’s here in the house with me.  All too soon it'll be over and we'll be building memories with our children as adults instead of as kids.

P is for Prayer

My prayer for my daughter:

     My dearest daughter, if I could custom make your life experiences for you I would.  But, since I cannot here are my prayers for you as you grow into adulthood.

     It is my greatest wish that you grow strong, healthy and happy.  I pray that you will always know how much you are loved and will always love yourself.  I pray that someday you can see yourself through my eyes and know what a miracle you are to me.  I pray that all your dreams come true, but that you must work for them so you appreciate and enjoy them fully.  I pray that your life is full of people who love and value you for who you are.  Most of all I pray that I get to be with you to see you experience everything that comes with growing up and being an adult.

My prayer for my son:

     My darling boy, if there was a way for me to put into words what you mean to me, I would.  The best I can do for you is to share my prayer for you.

     It is my greatest wish that you, like your sister, grow strong, healthy and happy.  I pray that you will find wisdom that helps you make sound decisions in your life.  I pray that you learn how to be a man from your father, for none do it as well as he does.  I pray that you experience the joy of sincere friendships.  I pray that all your dreams come true, and that you must work for them to fully enjoy them.  I pray that the people of your life value you and love you for who you are.  I pray that others get as much joy from your sense of humor and laugh as I do.  I pray that those close to you never fail to notice your caring, loving nature.  Most of all I pray that I get to be with you and see you experience everything that comes with growing up and being an adult.

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Mama's Heartbreak: A Love Story

My son turned 11 years old at the end of January.   He’s the biggest social butterfly of the family.  He’s already into the whole girl thing.  He’s been a little Casanova since pre-school when he was the only boy invited to a little girl’s birthday party.  At the party, all the mommas kept coming up to me and telling me how much their little beauties loved my son.  Back off girlies, he’s four and still  MINE!

When he was in third grade he decided he needed to wear cologne to school to impress a little girl.  That lasted about a week and a half.  The next year he spent about two weeks with his ear glued to the telephone with yet another little vixen trying to take my little boy away from me.

Well, now it seems I may have already lost my baby boy.  Not only does he talk about this newest Scarlet all the time, she’s sending him text messages with hearts all over the place.  They have hour long conversations on the phone.  And, to top it off, my darling little boy asked if he could buy HER a necklace for Valentine’s Day. 

Ambulances were called, a defibrillator was employed, psychiatrists prescribed medications and I am now undergoing intense psychotherapy.  I am told this therapy could last several years and may have to involve experimental techniques not yet FDA approved.

So that is where I put my foot down.  Maybe some people will scoff at me, but 11 is way too young to be buying jewelry for some little trollop that is probably just going to break his heart. We compromised on letting him get her a small heart shaped box of chocolates and a cheap ass rose, which I’m rethinking, but it’s too late for that.  I think my aforementioned medication clouded my judgment on that.

I spent Valentine’s Day watching the clock at work.  Both wishing I could be there to watch my son give Valentine gifts to a girl for the first time and glad I wasn't there to see it.  The hours dragged by as I tried not to imagine how it all went for him.  My impatience to hear him tell me about is day was almost unbearable. 

The clock did finally register home time and when I got home the first thing I asked my boy was what happened with his girl.  He says at first she blushed.  Then she thanked him.  Then he told me she said she wanted to kiss him.

My heart is now in a million pieces and there is a nice white jacket waiting for me as well as some men to take me to a nice soft room.