P is for Prayer

My prayer for my daughter:

     My dearest daughter, if I could custom make your life experiences for you I would.  But, since I cannot here are my prayers for you as you grow into adulthood.

     It is my greatest wish that you grow strong, healthy and happy.  I pray that you will always know how much you are loved and will always love yourself.  I pray that someday you can see yourself through my eyes and know what a miracle you are to me.  I pray that all your dreams come true, but that you must work for them so you appreciate and enjoy them fully.  I pray that your life is full of people who love and value you for who you are.  Most of all I pray that I get to be with you to see you experience everything that comes with growing up and being an adult.

My prayer for my son:

     My darling boy, if there was a way for me to put into words what you mean to me, I would.  The best I can do for you is to share my prayer for you.

     It is my greatest wish that you, like your sister, grow strong, healthy and happy.  I pray that you will find wisdom that helps you make sound decisions in your life.  I pray that you learn how to be a man from your father, for none do it as well as he does.  I pray that you experience the joy of sincere friendships.  I pray that all your dreams come true, and that you must work for them to fully enjoy them.  I pray that the people of your life value you and love you for who you are.  I pray that others get as much joy from your sense of humor and laugh as I do.  I pray that those close to you never fail to notice your caring, loving nature.  Most of all I pray that I get to be with you and see you experience everything that comes with growing up and being an adult.

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H is for Heartbreak

     I mentioned a few days ago that my daughter's swim team is going through some major changes.  All three coaches have resigned.  It's become a very emotional time for everyone involved with the team.  YMCA teams tend to become a family.  We spend enormous amounts of time together.  Being a parent of a swimmer means you are very involved in what is going on because you have to be part of running the meets.  Even at away meets, teams have to provide timers to help run those meets, too.

     Losing one coach is hard.  Losing two coaches really hurts.  But, losing three (and in our case, all) your coaches is heartbreaking in so many ways.  All three coaches have been part of the team for many years.  Two of them since they were swimmers, themselves.  So, it's very emotional for them to leave something that has been such a big part of their lives.

     But, it goes even deeper than that.  Since our Y has not yet hired any new coaches, the uncertainty of what will happen has driven almost all our swimmers and their families to different teams.  It also means noone has volunteered to be part of the parent board next year.  Basically, it feels like our team is falling apart.

     I have been part of the parent board for the last two years.  This is a board that has worked endlessly to grow a team that was starting to struggle into a thriving team.  We more than doubled the number of swimmers on our team.  We had the two most profitable years our team has ever seen.  And, this year we took more swimmers to "state" (a meet you have to qualify for) than the team has taken in about a decade.

     Now we are down to probably less than 10 swimmers staying to see what happens.  My daughter is one of the swimmers that wants to stick it out.  It's so hard to take her to practice and see so many people missing.  Not only has my daughter made friends and grown close to her teammates, but I have grown close to and made friends with so many of the parents. 

     This is the place my daughter found her passion.  It's where she learned to love a sport and found a place to belong as part of a team.  It is where I watched her come alive as an athlete.  Something that I did not find until I was in my second year of high school.  And, because of this I fell in love with the sport myself, even if I don't actually participate in the sport as a swimmer.

     So, now I keep swinging from complete saddness, to reminding myself that things always work out and feeling hope back to saddness. And, in between, I fight anger that really has no place to be directed towards.

     No matter what, I know, what will be will be and our time with the Stingrays will always be a special time to remember.  I just hope it's not over entirely.  It just really is a heartbreaking situation right now.

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E is for Endings

     We are going through a lot of endings in our house lately.  Of course we've just gone through the end of winter.  Very soon it will be the end of the school year.  Less than a year ago was the end of us having children in elementary school.  But, there is so much more getting ready to come to an end and it's got at least two of us in this house a little unsettled.

     My daughter is going through the most endings right now.  Her Girl Scout troop will be folding after this school year and so that's the end of everything that goes along with that.  The end of mother/daughter dinners, father/daughter dances, neighborhood camps, overnights at museums, cookie sales, etc.  The cookie sales I will not miss.  It will be very strange not having the other stuff going on.  She is going to do PEGS so she can continue to earn her awards.  But, it will not be the same.

Neighborhood Camp 2.5 years ago

     This is her last year of middle school.  Everything that goes with not being in high school is over.  This is both scary and exciting for us.  I just am having such a hard time believing that my baby girl is going to be in high school come August.  In just four years we will be planning for graduation.  YIKES!

     We are also part of the ending of an "era" with our local YMCA.  My daughter has been part of the swim team there for the past three years.  All of the coaches are leaving which means whatever happens next year it will be completely different.  It's a little scary, but then, change is always scary.  I hope that they are able to find new coaches soon.

The coach who is pregnant

     This past Christmas saw the ending of Santa Claus in our house, too.  It was the first Christmas that we did not have to pretend about Santa.  Which also meant that the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny have ended, too.  These actually I'm not as sad about as I probably should be.  I'm more relieved because I was HORRIBLE at it.  I just can't remember my lies to keep them going.  And,  our poor kids, the tooth fairy has NEVER been on time.  So, that ending has been helpful.

     This year also saw the ending of my 18 year run as a first grade teacher.  I was moved to 2nd grade for this school year.  I was not happy about it, but am really hoping this is where I stay next year.  There is a lot of uncertainty about that, but I'm still hoping not to be moved again.

My first second grade class in 19 years

     My husband's job that he had for a long time ended less than a year ago.  The company he worked for closed it's doors.  This led him back to a company he left about 13 years ago.  Thankfully, he did find another job.

      And, now it is time for the ending of this post.  Life takes us through lots of changes.  Sometimes they are far apart, but sometimes a lot happen in a short period of time.  The upside to it all is that whenever something ends, something else begins.

An early spring sunrise

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A Road Trip

     I am sitting in the passenger seat of our van playing a game on my tablet and signing softly along with an 80's song that is coming over the radio.  The kids are in the back seat watching a movie on the DVD player.  My husband is in the driver's seat.  We are on our way north.  Our destination is about 4.5 hours from home.

     I actually love times like these.  We don't have to be going anywhere exotic.  We don't even have to be going anywhere to stay overnight.  Our destination is not necessarily important.  It's that we are together.  It's that we are creating memories as a family.

     Last summer, my daughter came home from girl scout camp with all these plans for the next few summers that include her being gone for increasingly amount of time each year.  She will be starting high school in August.  These two things have been a huge twist in my gut.  It has made me realize exactly how limited our time is with our children.

     I have always tried to make sure my children have plenty of smiling moments in time that they will hopefully be able to look back at their childhood with fondness.  I want them to be able to have tons of things to reminisce about and talk about when they are older.  Those, remember when we... moments.  Moments they want to share with their own children.

     As I sit in the moving car I breathe in the contentment that surrounds me and cloak myself with love we all share. I glance at the man I am lucky enough to share all of this with and it makes me smile as my chest balloons.  He is the reason all of these family times work so well.  Because he is a daddy and a husband, not just a man with a family.

     Our road trip may cause us to sit in the car for a long period of time.  It may be we sleep in not the greatest hotel.  We may end up playing a waiting game most of the weekend.  But, we are all doing it together.  Our children are learning to support each other in their interests and our family is building a foundation that, hopefully will be strong enough to embrace grandchildren and great-grandchildren and beyond.

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Amazing Adventures in Parenting

       My heart was pounding fiercely in my chest.  I could hear it in my ears.  My stomach felt like someone was twisting it an ringing it out.  I could hardly breathe.  It was hot and humid in the building so I was sweating like crazy.  I don't think I've ever been that nervous in my life.  And, all I was doing was sitting in the bleachers.

     We went to my daughter's district championship swim meet this weekend.  This is her third year on the team so, it was her third year at this meet.  Her events this year were 500 freestyle, 100 backstroke, 200 medley relay, and 200 freestyle relay.  It was a particularly exciting meet for her because it was only the second time she's swam the 500 and we knew that her freestyle relay had a good chance of making state time.

     I was nervous for her during her 500.  She's been training so hard for this for weeks, working on endurance and her form.  We were counting on her dropping time during the meet.  It's fun to watch a distance swim because it lasts longer than a sprint.  But, it can be nerve wracking when you know how much the results mean to the swimmer and that swimmer is important to you.  She did fantastic!  She kept her pace the whole 20 lengths of the pool and won her heat.  Her time improved by a whole 4 seconds.

     However, it was nothing like watching her 200 relay.  That event just about killed me.  I am not kidding when I describe how I was feeling watching the relay.  My girl swam the second leg of the relay.  They had to improve their time by 1.5 seconds.  I literally could not breath.  I was terrified to watch the time on the score board.  I did not look at that until the anchor swimmer was on her way back to the block.  It would have been very easy for me to lose control of my bladder at that point.

    When the anchor swimmer hit the wall I let out this very loud yelp/squeal/scream that probably sounded like a pig dying.  I almost collapsed.  Really, I am not being dramatic here.  They managed to improve their time by 3 seconds, making state time by over a second.  They also placed 7th in that event. My baby girl is going to state this year with an awesome relay team.

     It means a trip up north.  The place they hold this meet is about 4 1/2 hours from where we live.  But, to watch my girl participate in her favorite thing at a meet she's been working towards for three years is worth it.

     Anyone that misses out on this part of being a parent has no idea how empty is their life.  I can't imagine having lived without this type of experience.  I could never have felt those feelings that strongly for myself.  I can't wait to do it again, for/with both my children.

Words to Live By

     When I was in college, there were many things that they did not teach me about being a teacher of young children.  For instance, I was not taught about some of the things I would have to say to my students in the line of teaching social skills.  Here is a list of 10 of the strange things I find myself saying on a regular basis.

1. Stop chewing on your collar.
2. Why is there a crayon in your nose?
3. Why did you tie your shoes together?
4. Stop poking people in the ear.
5. This is a classroom not a mosh pit.
6. Take your book bag out of your mouth.
7. Why did you bite the button off your shirt?
8. Stop turning your eyelids inside out.
9. Please do not do back bends over your chair.
10. Stop trading hair with each other.

Must update here with a bonus one that I said for the first time today:

Stop kissing your desk.