Amazing Adventures in Parenting

       My heart was pounding fiercely in my chest.  I could hear it in my ears.  My stomach felt like someone was twisting it an ringing it out.  I could hardly breathe.  It was hot and humid in the building so I was sweating like crazy.  I don't think I've ever been that nervous in my life.  And, all I was doing was sitting in the bleachers.

     We went to my daughter's district championship swim meet this weekend.  This is her third year on the team so, it was her third year at this meet.  Her events this year were 500 freestyle, 100 backstroke, 200 medley relay, and 200 freestyle relay.  It was a particularly exciting meet for her because it was only the second time she's swam the 500 and we knew that her freestyle relay had a good chance of making state time.

     I was nervous for her during her 500.  She's been training so hard for this for weeks, working on endurance and her form.  We were counting on her dropping time during the meet.  It's fun to watch a distance swim because it lasts longer than a sprint.  But, it can be nerve wracking when you know how much the results mean to the swimmer and that swimmer is important to you.  She did fantastic!  She kept her pace the whole 20 lengths of the pool and won her heat.  Her time improved by a whole 4 seconds.

     However, it was nothing like watching her 200 relay.  That event just about killed me.  I am not kidding when I describe how I was feeling watching the relay.  My girl swam the second leg of the relay.  They had to improve their time by 1.5 seconds.  I literally could not breath.  I was terrified to watch the time on the score board.  I did not look at that until the anchor swimmer was on her way back to the block.  It would have been very easy for me to lose control of my bladder at that point.

    When the anchor swimmer hit the wall I let out this very loud yelp/squeal/scream that probably sounded like a pig dying.  I almost collapsed.  Really, I am not being dramatic here.  They managed to improve their time by 3 seconds, making state time by over a second.  They also placed 7th in that event. My baby girl is going to state this year with an awesome relay team.

     It means a trip up north.  The place they hold this meet is about 4 1/2 hours from where we live.  But, to watch my girl participate in her favorite thing at a meet she's been working towards for three years is worth it.

     Anyone that misses out on this part of being a parent has no idea how empty is their life.  I can't imagine having lived without this type of experience.  I could never have felt those feelings that strongly for myself.  I can't wait to do it again, for/with both my children.

Mama's Heartbreak: A Love Story

My son turned 11 years old at the end of January.   He’s the biggest social butterfly of the family.  He’s already into the whole girl thing.  He’s been a little Casanova since pre-school when he was the only boy invited to a little girl’s birthday party.  At the party, all the mommas kept coming up to me and telling me how much their little beauties loved my son.  Back off girlies, he’s four and still  MINE!

When he was in third grade he decided he needed to wear cologne to school to impress a little girl.  That lasted about a week and a half.  The next year he spent about two weeks with his ear glued to the telephone with yet another little vixen trying to take my little boy away from me.

Well, now it seems I may have already lost my baby boy.  Not only does he talk about this newest Scarlet all the time, she’s sending him text messages with hearts all over the place.  They have hour long conversations on the phone.  And, to top it off, my darling little boy asked if he could buy HER a necklace for Valentine’s Day. 

Ambulances were called, a defibrillator was employed, psychiatrists prescribed medications and I am now undergoing intense psychotherapy.  I am told this therapy could last several years and may have to involve experimental techniques not yet FDA approved.

So that is where I put my foot down.  Maybe some people will scoff at me, but 11 is way too young to be buying jewelry for some little trollop that is probably just going to break his heart. We compromised on letting him get her a small heart shaped box of chocolates and a cheap ass rose, which I’m rethinking, but it’s too late for that.  I think my aforementioned medication clouded my judgment on that.

I spent Valentine’s Day watching the clock at work.  Both wishing I could be there to watch my son give Valentine gifts to a girl for the first time and glad I wasn't there to see it.  The hours dragged by as I tried not to imagine how it all went for him.  My impatience to hear him tell me about is day was almost unbearable. 

The clock did finally register home time and when I got home the first thing I asked my boy was what happened with his girl.  He says at first she blushed.  Then she thanked him.  Then he told me she said she wanted to kiss him.

My heart is now in a million pieces and there is a nice white jacket waiting for me as well as some men to take me to a nice soft room.